Last year, I was home with a very busy two year old and very sick infant. It was a very difficult and sad time, but I was able to channel all of my frustrations and problems into my running. And it was a good place to funnel it all--I was able to shatter what I thought my limitations were and was able to look in the mirror and see someone who appeared to have it all together.
As I look both forward and behind me, I see a much different time. I was able to go back to work this year teaching special education in Columbus. I am still taking Anders (and occasionally Quinn) to numerous doctors and specialists, but the appointments do not seem as desperate.
And I continue to train.
My weirdo issues have continued after the Leprechaun Chase even though I scaled things way back. I have been taking my miles easy and not hammering on my bike as much. But here is what happens--if I run too hard or too far, I start to lose control of my legs (more noticeably in my right quad). It starts to almost "flap" and I literally cannot go any faster or farther. Last week, this happened between miles 7 and 8 of my 12 miler. I got off the treadmill, drank some gatorade and stretched, and resumed my run successfully at a slower pace. My midweek runs went better as I slowed to 8mph instead of 8.5-9.5. However, it occurred again today around mile 6 of a 7 miler with my husband. I don't think our pace was blazing, but we were alternating miles pushing the boys in the stroller which is substantially harder. So I'm not sure what this is--lacking in iron? something weird with sugar processing?
But the reality is this: this is not in my mind and this isn't going to be a quick fix. There are no PRs in my near future and it doesn't look like I'll be achieving anything big in the racing world. Am I sad or disappointed?? Here is the strange part...I am mostly okay with this. I love running and I am thankful that I'm able to do it, no matter how fast or slow I am. The hardest part is that I don't want to let my WRN teammates down by not being able to strongly represent our team.
I will continue running, teaching, and taking care of my kids. I'm going to continue loving ever minute I spend with my husband, being with friends and family, and reading good books. I will be breaking barriers in my running this year in a different form--figuring out what is wrong with me and continuing to work through this by making necessary adjustments. And maybe I'll get this nipped in the bud and be back.
I hope that training has been going well for you and that you're enjoying the beautiful weather. And PS--WRN is hosting a very cool running retreat this summer. Check it out here.
Happy running, friends!
Addy, sometimes the best thing you can do for the WRN team and other runners who look up to you is to show that you are human, and that everyone has their ups and downs as an athlete. I haven't run in 8 weeks, and have had a really rough two years performance-wise, and it has helped me so much to hear from others who struggle with the t-and-fro of running and racing. Keep the faith and keep chugging away for peace of mind and stress relief, and at some point everything will click again and you'll find yourself breaking the PR's you set last year. I love reading your honest blogs, and I will continue reading no matter what pace or race you're currently working with.
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